The Bobblehead Update

Day 2 on 5 mg. Fun is an understatement. The wobbly-bobbly head feeling is like a jack-in-the-box, you just NEVER know when it’s going to pop up. Thus new rules for living: ladders – no, stairs are not my friend – hand railings are (mandatory), sitting as much as possible, exercise – for now I’ll live vicariously watching my cats frolick. As this settles down, I do plan on exercising – as it is now March and the copious amounts of snow are melting as the sun begins to exert her authority once again.

The pate was/is AWESOME. The B vitamins must be working as my pee is fluorescent, and provides the added benefit of being a great bathroom nightlight.

So far withdrawal from Paxil seems eerily similar to my drinking days. It’s like being drunk (some of the physical symptoms are identical), and I’ve lost a lot of my inhibitions (hello – libido!). My apologies if this is TMI, but for me being completely truthful with myself (for the first time in decades) is essential during this process. I am also finding that my memories are returning 🙂 and that I am engaged in their recollection rather than blankly observing them like acquaintances watching the neighbours family vacation slide-show.

I am also experiencing clarity in the reasons why I chose to ‘self-medicate’ first with drugs and alcohol and then with prescription drugs. Having this awareness is helping me identify the seeds responsible for propagating the fields that fed the symptoms of anxiety and depression.

It is only by recognizing and accepting these truths, that I can eradicate and cease the cycle of self-destruction.

Big hugs and a healthy dose of courage xoxoxoxo Mamazander

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~ by mamazander on March 9, 2013.

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